The Blessing Game

For those of you who know Joe and I, you might remember that last summer was a time of great difficulty in our lives.

For those of you who do not know Joe and I, if I told you about some of the events that happened, you might also think that time was one of great difficulty in our lives.

But for us, it was a time of a great paradigm shift in our perspective on life. There were many times where we could do nothing more than simply grieve. There were many times where we forced ourselves to be around other people as we knew we could not help one another. There were times where no words could comfort.

Then one night something happened. I don't remember how it came to be, or who started it, but I remember it well.

We were laying in bed, crying.
Finnegan would try to lick our tears.

And we started playing The Blessing Game.

It went a little something like this:

Me: "We are so blessed to be together."

Joe: "We are so blessed to both have jobs that provide a sense of accomplishment."

Me: "We are so blessed to be able to afford things like food on the table, and a beautiful home."

Joe: "We are so blessed to have Finnegan"

Me: "We are so blessed to feel the sunshine on our face."

Joe: "We are so blessed to have great families that love and support us."

Me: "We are so blessed to both have legs that work, so we can walk, run, and move."

And we did this for hours.

In the midst of hardship, grief, and darkness, our perspective changed.

This simple game helped me to realize how blessed my life truly is. It's very hard for me to admit this, but I was living my life taking advantage of so many things...

Food.
Water.
Family.
A comfy bed to sleep in.
A healthy heart.
Functional legs.
A job.
Owning a home.
My husband.

I just walked through my day thinking that I simply deserved these things. That they should be handed over to me.

During this same time, one of my dear friends was also going through a time of trial in her life. In one of her caringbridge updates, she wrote something along the lines of "I will never take advantage of the simple things again- like being able to put on my underwear!" How amazing, that two friends with very different experiences, different grief, different trials, were coming out the other end with the same life lesson.

Me; "I am so blessed that I can put on my underwear by myself."

This morning I started writing a blog post about how difficult this adoption journey is. How it's not all smiles, rainbows and butterfly's.

I wanted to share with you that sometimes it sucks. Big time.

I want the world to know that my family planning involves another woman going through her own grief and loss.

And then I was reminded how blessed I am.

Specifically how blessed I am to have my dad. While another friend deals with the unexpected loss of her father, I am able to speed dial my dad and say "Hi Dad, I love you."

Life isn't fair and everyone has their own loss, their own blessing. What is one man's loss might be another man's blessing. And what be one man's blessing might be another man's loss.

All we can do is stare down the unfairness of life, change our perspective, and be thankful for our blessings.

And if you need help, you might try playing The Blessing Game. And the next time you put on your underwear, think of all the people in the world that wish they could it on their own.